Random Act of Kindness

A while ago I was studying Anatomy 1 (skull part) at Starbucks Convergys. I stayed there for almost 5 hours. It's very long and exhausting! Sa tagal na yun hindi ko pa din natapos. :| Anyway, to make the long story short, two strangers gave me a coffee for free. They don't know me, I don't know them but I'm quite sure they're harmless. Haha! I guess they did that because I let them borrow my Synopsis of Psychiatry book for like 5 minutes. But still it was very unexpected.. I love surprises pa naman. Haha! :))

Random act of kindness can really make someone's day. No matter how little the help is, it will be remembered especially if it's from the heart. :) It is very, very effective. It just made my day. :)

Currently feeling: Full
Currently listening to: Monster Radio's Tribute to Michael Jackson

He's Out There Waiting... PATIENTLY.

It's been a month and 5 days since I last updated my blog. I'm sorry blog. Haha! I'm not gonna update though. I just want to share the after effect of watching One Tree Hill. Grrr.. It's FULL of drama and it's not realistic at all. Hindi naman ganun ka-drama ang buhay eh. Hahaha! But I really really love the show! It's my favorite. I get inspiration from it. Maybe that's the point of all drama series or show or whatever. To get inspiration, hope, emotions, etc.. Pero hindi ko alam kung mabuti ba epekto sa akin kasi para kong na-e-emo lagi pagkatapos manood. Hindi ko maiwasan na hindi magisip-isip at i-relate sa buhay ko yung mga pangyayari. Nagiging hopeless romantic ako. I mean oo, hopeless romantic na talaga ako pero mas lumalala ata dahil sa OTH. Hahaha! But I can't help it. I love One Tree Hill. :))

And oh, today is the last day of my teenage years. Sad. :(

Going Back To My "EMO" Days :))

So here are all the poems/tula I made back in highschool. I found all of these in my old blogspot. I can't help but laugh after reading each of them because it's SO EMO! Tapos yung choice of words ko pa.. Haha! Yuck ang emo ko dati. HAHAHAHA! :))

The Delusion Stroll

I was walking alone
In a windy hours of darkness
The breeze makes me chill
I have no idea where to go
Then I suddenly felt the emptiness in my heart
My mind was puzzled
Then I remembered you
I felt the loneliness within myself
That I want you to fill up
I crave for your presence
I want to see your face
I'd like to hear your voice
I want you to walk with me
Walk with me,
And make me feel the bliss inside my heart
But then again,
I'm just all by myself
Dreaming that you would walk with me forever

-

Malabong Lugar

Dahan dahang nagiiba
Palayo ng palayo ang nararating
Nais ko sana'y bumalik
Ngunit ako'y nahihirapan nang umalis

Tama ba ang aking pinasukan?
O ako'y nagkamali nanaman?
Ako ba'y pababalikin ulit?
Sa lugar kung saan ako'y magsisimulang muli

Naliligaw na nga ba ako?
Sa isang lugar na `di sinasadyang dinala ako
Nararapat ba ako rito?
O sinasayang ko lang ang oras ko dito?

Kailangan na bang umalis ng maaga?
Kailangan na bang putulin ang paglalakad?
Kailangan ko na nga bang bumalik?
At umalis dito sa lugar na walang katiyakan.

-

Iwas

Muli nanamang gumising
Sa isang umagang napakalamig
Ilang araw na itong nauulit
Ngunit isa lamang ang hinahanap-hanap lagi

Init ng iyong kamay ay nais kong maramdaman
Sarap ng iyong yakap kailan kaya matitikman?
Sa bawat umagang sumasalubong
Tanging pangalan mo lamang ang ibinubulong

Hindi sigurado sa nararamdaman
Ngunit siguradong ako'y naguguluhan
Naguguluhan nga ba sa nararamdaman?
O sadyang pinagugulo lamang dahil iniiwasan?

-

O diba? Lalaban ka pa sa pagka-EMO ko dati? Hahahaha! Uso ata EMO dati kaya ayan yung epekto saken. HAHAHAHA :)) But I somehow wish that I still have some passion left for writing poems. Feeling ko nabawasan creativity ko kasi hindi na ko makagawa ngayon ng ganyan. :| Maybe kung pipilitin kaya. Pero panget kapag ganun. I really want it back...

PACMAN FEVER!

MANNY PACQUIAO IS INCREDIBLE! TRULY ONE OF A KIND. NAPAKAGALING! SALUDO AKO! STANDING OVATION! :)

Inspiration?

I was reading my old blogspot and found this short poem I made back in highschool.

Trepidation

Confusions behind her smiles
Laughing to hide her tears
Uneasy about the vies,
Between her heart and endless fears

Sentiments are hidden
But her eyes reveal this all.
She’s trying to ease the burden,
That only makes her want to fall

Forgetting is her choice
Risking is too rare
Pretending is her voice,
For emotions that she can’t bare

Damn! Where did I get those words? I can still remember that I really considered writing poems as one of my "outlets" before. But what's wrong with me now? Bakit hindi ko na yun nagagawa? Am I that inspired before? If I am.. what happened? Am I less inspired now? Sana hindi. Pero kung oo.. Lord! PLEASE GIVE IT BACK TO ME!!!!! :))

Broken Strings

I'm in love with the song "Broken Strings" by James Morrison ft. Nelly Furtado. But I can't relate to the song. Wala lang gusto ko lang siya. I simply love it! I love singing it! Hahaha! Super nagagandahan ako sa lyrics eh. I don't know why though. Sad song naman tapos pag pinapakinggan ko parang naffeel ko lang yung pain. HAHAHA! Anyway, I posted the audio and lyrics below and emphasized the lines I love. I want you to feel (or at least understand me) the same way I feel everytime I hear the song. Hahaha! :))

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

James Morrison
Let me hold you for the last time
It’s the last chance to feel again
But you broke me now I can’t feel anything

When I love you
It’s so untrue
I can’t even convince myself
When I’m speaking it’s the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it’s not enough
To make it all ok

You can’t play on broken strings
You can’t feel anything
That your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that ain’t real

Oh the truth hurts
A lie’s worse
I can’t like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before

Nelly Furtado
Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Duet : James Morrison and Nelly Furtado
Running back through the fire
When there’s nothing left to save
It’s like chasing the very last train
When it’s too late (too late)

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it’s not enough
To make it all ok

You can’t play our broken strings
You can’t feel anything
That your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that ain’t real

Oh the truth hurts
And lie’s worse
I can’t like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before

But we’re running through the fire
When there’s nothing left to say
It’s like chasing the very last train
When we both know it’s too late (too late)

You can’t play our broken strings
You can’t feel anything
That your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that ain’t real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can’t like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before
Oh and I love you a little less than before .. yeah

Let me hold you for the last time
It’s the last change to feel again

SINGLEHOOD

It’s been three years since I last had a boyfriend. For the past three years of being single, I have encountered many people who asked me “May boyfriend ka na?” with a follow up question “Ang tagal mo nang single, bakit wala pa?” Just like last Tuesday, I was with Erika and while waiting for the freshmen enrollees she asked me..

Erika: Cha may boyfriend ka na?
Me: Wala. Bakit?
Erika: O? Wala lang.. I think it’s your year. Haha!

It’s my year? Whaaaat?! Haha! Okay. So I really didn’t know where Erika got that “I think it’s your year” comment. Hahaha! But here’s the thing, I know that my heart got really hurt before but I CAN’T say that I haven’t move on yet because I already did. Alam kong matagal bago ako naka-move on but I REALLY know na nakamove on na ko ngayon after that bad breakup.

I’m really not sure why I’m still single but I guess it’s because I’m not yet ready to love again. Honestly, I only have two major reasons kung bakit hindi pa ako ready. First, I want to focus on my studies. Though, kaya naman pagsabayin yun pero I just don’t want it to get in the way right now. Especially now na incoming 3^rd year. I don’t know if I can handle that. Haha!

Second, I’M SCARED. Two nights ago, a friend told me to read one of his blog entries that would answer my question to him. After reading, it did answer the question I asked him. But to my surprise, it was more than an answer to my question. Hindi lang sinagot yung tanong ko, ang dami kong na realize bigla. I’m scared about losing my virginity to someone na hindi ko makakasama forever. Totoo kasi na ang hirap paniwalaan minsan sa mag boyfriend/girlfriend na wala pang nangyayari sa kanila lalo na kapag ang tagal na nila. Lalo na at my age, parang ang dami dami kong kilalang couples na normal na sa kanila yun. Pero naiintindihan ko naman sila. I’m very open-minded about that. I personally think that it should be an agreement between the couple. It should be done whenever the woman says she’s ready. And it should be important na hindi nap-pressure yung babae. But why am I scared? Because I promised to myself na gusto ko kapag nag boyfriend na ulit ako. Gusto ko forever na siya. And forever scares me. STILL scares me. Hindi ko alam kung naintindihan niyo yun. I hope you did. Tell me if you did. Haha! :))

Maybe by 5^th year, or after graduation pa ko magiging ready. Haha! But please don’t get me wrong, I am very very happy and contented right now about being single. Single is SOOOO FUN! :)

Currently listening to: Can't Believe It - Jojo
Currently feeling: Okay :))