Random Act of Kindness

A while ago I was studying Anatomy 1 (skull part) at Starbucks Convergys. I stayed there for almost 5 hours. It's very long and exhausting! Sa tagal na yun hindi ko pa din natapos. :| Anyway, to make the long story short, two strangers gave me a coffee for free. They don't know me, I don't know them but I'm quite sure they're harmless. Haha! I guess they did that because I let them borrow my Synopsis of Psychiatry book for like 5 minutes. But still it was very unexpected.. I love surprises pa naman. Haha! :))

Random act of kindness can really make someone's day. No matter how little the help is, it will be remembered especially if it's from the heart. :) It is very, very effective. It just made my day. :)

Currently feeling: Full
Currently listening to: Monster Radio's Tribute to Michael Jackson

He's Out There Waiting... PATIENTLY.

It's been a month and 5 days since I last updated my blog. I'm sorry blog. Haha! I'm not gonna update though. I just want to share the after effect of watching One Tree Hill. Grrr.. It's FULL of drama and it's not realistic at all. Hindi naman ganun ka-drama ang buhay eh. Hahaha! But I really really love the show! It's my favorite. I get inspiration from it. Maybe that's the point of all drama series or show or whatever. To get inspiration, hope, emotions, etc.. Pero hindi ko alam kung mabuti ba epekto sa akin kasi para kong na-e-emo lagi pagkatapos manood. Hindi ko maiwasan na hindi magisip-isip at i-relate sa buhay ko yung mga pangyayari. Nagiging hopeless romantic ako. I mean oo, hopeless romantic na talaga ako pero mas lumalala ata dahil sa OTH. Hahaha! But I can't help it. I love One Tree Hill. :))

And oh, today is the last day of my teenage years. Sad. :(

Going Back To My "EMO" Days :))

So here are all the poems/tula I made back in highschool. I found all of these in my old blogspot. I can't help but laugh after reading each of them because it's SO EMO! Tapos yung choice of words ko pa.. Haha! Yuck ang emo ko dati. HAHAHAHA! :))

The Delusion Stroll

I was walking alone
In a windy hours of darkness
The breeze makes me chill
I have no idea where to go
Then I suddenly felt the emptiness in my heart
My mind was puzzled
Then I remembered you
I felt the loneliness within myself
That I want you to fill up
I crave for your presence
I want to see your face
I'd like to hear your voice
I want you to walk with me
Walk with me,
And make me feel the bliss inside my heart
But then again,
I'm just all by myself
Dreaming that you would walk with me forever

-

Malabong Lugar

Dahan dahang nagiiba
Palayo ng palayo ang nararating
Nais ko sana'y bumalik
Ngunit ako'y nahihirapan nang umalis

Tama ba ang aking pinasukan?
O ako'y nagkamali nanaman?
Ako ba'y pababalikin ulit?
Sa lugar kung saan ako'y magsisimulang muli

Naliligaw na nga ba ako?
Sa isang lugar na `di sinasadyang dinala ako
Nararapat ba ako rito?
O sinasayang ko lang ang oras ko dito?

Kailangan na bang umalis ng maaga?
Kailangan na bang putulin ang paglalakad?
Kailangan ko na nga bang bumalik?
At umalis dito sa lugar na walang katiyakan.

-

Iwas

Muli nanamang gumising
Sa isang umagang napakalamig
Ilang araw na itong nauulit
Ngunit isa lamang ang hinahanap-hanap lagi

Init ng iyong kamay ay nais kong maramdaman
Sarap ng iyong yakap kailan kaya matitikman?
Sa bawat umagang sumasalubong
Tanging pangalan mo lamang ang ibinubulong

Hindi sigurado sa nararamdaman
Ngunit siguradong ako'y naguguluhan
Naguguluhan nga ba sa nararamdaman?
O sadyang pinagugulo lamang dahil iniiwasan?

-

O diba? Lalaban ka pa sa pagka-EMO ko dati? Hahahaha! Uso ata EMO dati kaya ayan yung epekto saken. HAHAHAHA :)) But I somehow wish that I still have some passion left for writing poems. Feeling ko nabawasan creativity ko kasi hindi na ko makagawa ngayon ng ganyan. :| Maybe kung pipilitin kaya. Pero panget kapag ganun. I really want it back...

PACMAN FEVER!

MANNY PACQUIAO IS INCREDIBLE! TRULY ONE OF A KIND. NAPAKAGALING! SALUDO AKO! STANDING OVATION! :)

Inspiration?

I was reading my old blogspot and found this short poem I made back in highschool.

Trepidation

Confusions behind her smiles
Laughing to hide her tears
Uneasy about the vies,
Between her heart and endless fears

Sentiments are hidden
But her eyes reveal this all.
She’s trying to ease the burden,
That only makes her want to fall

Forgetting is her choice
Risking is too rare
Pretending is her voice,
For emotions that she can’t bare

Damn! Where did I get those words? I can still remember that I really considered writing poems as one of my "outlets" before. But what's wrong with me now? Bakit hindi ko na yun nagagawa? Am I that inspired before? If I am.. what happened? Am I less inspired now? Sana hindi. Pero kung oo.. Lord! PLEASE GIVE IT BACK TO ME!!!!! :))

Broken Strings

I'm in love with the song "Broken Strings" by James Morrison ft. Nelly Furtado. But I can't relate to the song. Wala lang gusto ko lang siya. I simply love it! I love singing it! Hahaha! Super nagagandahan ako sa lyrics eh. I don't know why though. Sad song naman tapos pag pinapakinggan ko parang naffeel ko lang yung pain. HAHAHA! Anyway, I posted the audio and lyrics below and emphasized the lines I love. I want you to feel (or at least understand me) the same way I feel everytime I hear the song. Hahaha! :))

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

James Morrison
Let me hold you for the last time
It’s the last chance to feel again
But you broke me now I can’t feel anything

When I love you
It’s so untrue
I can’t even convince myself
When I’m speaking it’s the voice of someone else

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it’s not enough
To make it all ok

You can’t play on broken strings
You can’t feel anything
That your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that ain’t real

Oh the truth hurts
A lie’s worse
I can’t like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before

Nelly Furtado
Oh what are we doing
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Duet : James Morrison and Nelly Furtado
Running back through the fire
When there’s nothing left to save
It’s like chasing the very last train
When it’s too late (too late)

Oh it tears me up
I tried to hold but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it’s not enough
To make it all ok

You can’t play our broken strings
You can’t feel anything
That your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that ain’t real

Oh the truth hurts
And lie’s worse
I can’t like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before

But we’re running through the fire
When there’s nothing left to say
It’s like chasing the very last train
When we both know it’s too late (too late)

You can’t play our broken strings
You can’t feel anything
That your heart don’t want to feel
I can’t tell you something that ain’t real

Oh the truth hurts
And lies worse
I can’t like it anymore
And I love you a little less than before
Oh and I love you a little less than before .. yeah

Let me hold you for the last time
It’s the last change to feel again

SINGLEHOOD

It’s been three years since I last had a boyfriend. For the past three years of being single, I have encountered many people who asked me “May boyfriend ka na?” with a follow up question “Ang tagal mo nang single, bakit wala pa?” Just like last Tuesday, I was with Erika and while waiting for the freshmen enrollees she asked me..

Erika: Cha may boyfriend ka na?
Me: Wala. Bakit?
Erika: O? Wala lang.. I think it’s your year. Haha!

It’s my year? Whaaaat?! Haha! Okay. So I really didn’t know where Erika got that “I think it’s your year” comment. Hahaha! But here’s the thing, I know that my heart got really hurt before but I CAN’T say that I haven’t move on yet because I already did. Alam kong matagal bago ako naka-move on but I REALLY know na nakamove on na ko ngayon after that bad breakup.

I’m really not sure why I’m still single but I guess it’s because I’m not yet ready to love again. Honestly, I only have two major reasons kung bakit hindi pa ako ready. First, I want to focus on my studies. Though, kaya naman pagsabayin yun pero I just don’t want it to get in the way right now. Especially now na incoming 3^rd year. I don’t know if I can handle that. Haha!

Second, I’M SCARED. Two nights ago, a friend told me to read one of his blog entries that would answer my question to him. After reading, it did answer the question I asked him. But to my surprise, it was more than an answer to my question. Hindi lang sinagot yung tanong ko, ang dami kong na realize bigla. I’m scared about losing my virginity to someone na hindi ko makakasama forever. Totoo kasi na ang hirap paniwalaan minsan sa mag boyfriend/girlfriend na wala pang nangyayari sa kanila lalo na kapag ang tagal na nila. Lalo na at my age, parang ang dami dami kong kilalang couples na normal na sa kanila yun. Pero naiintindihan ko naman sila. I’m very open-minded about that. I personally think that it should be an agreement between the couple. It should be done whenever the woman says she’s ready. And it should be important na hindi nap-pressure yung babae. But why am I scared? Because I promised to myself na gusto ko kapag nag boyfriend na ulit ako. Gusto ko forever na siya. And forever scares me. STILL scares me. Hindi ko alam kung naintindihan niyo yun. I hope you did. Tell me if you did. Haha! :))

Maybe by 5^th year, or after graduation pa ko magiging ready. Haha! But please don’t get me wrong, I am very very happy and contented right now about being single. Single is SOOOO FUN! :)

Currently listening to: Can't Believe It - Jojo
Currently feeling: Okay :))

I Could Not Ask For More :)

I finally got the right time that I needed for this blog entry. I know it’s been a while and a lot of wonderful things already happened to me for the past days. But let me “summarize” those wonderful things in a different way because I’ve got something else on my mind na gustong gusto ko na i-blog. Hahaha :))

April 12, 2009: Uncle Mon's Birthday/Welcome Back Celebration

We celebrated Uncle Mon's birthday in advance and his homecoming as well. SUPER FUN night with my family and the rest of the clan. We finished two bottles of Jose Cuervo (my favorite) and few bottles of San Mig Light before and after finishing the tequila. Hindi ako tinamaan. Damn! Hahaha! I LOVE MY CLAN SO MUCH! :)

April 17-19, 2009: Tagaytay and Lian, Batangas

On our way to Tagaytay. Vanity with my dear cousins. Super traffic kasi sa C5 kaya nagpakavain nalang. Hahaha! :)

Vanity with Dee. Super traffic talaga kaya nagkakaganyan kami. (Ginawa ko pang dahilan yun. Hahaha!) Oo na. VANITY IS OUR FAVORITE SIN. Hahaha! :))

April 18, 2009: Lian, Batangas

It's a private resort. Not yet done. It's sooo beutiful! Go to my multiply for more pictures. :) I LOVE THE PLACE! :)

Vanity again. Sorry. Hahaha! :)) Apat lang yan sa napakadaming vain pics. Haha! Right Dee? I LOVE YOU DEE! :) By the way, photos were all from Dee. Thank you Tamps! HAHA :))

So there you go. That's my different way of summarizing the wonderful things that happened to me for the past days. Haha! :)) Yan yung mga importanteng nangyare sa akin lately. :) Thank you Lord for all the blessings! I love You! :)

Currently listening to: Hatin' On the Club - Rihanna
Currently feeling: Hot (Ang iniiiiiiit!)

Night Swimming is Lalalalove!

Just got home from a simple dinner out with my parents. I REALLY LOVE JAPANESE FOOD! Yummy! :) Sister dear is in Boracay with her friends. Inggit ako. Haha! Anyway, I'm actually not in the mood of blogging righ now. Pero madami na nangyari for the past few days at dapat malagay na kaya pipilitin ko. Haha! :))

Three days ago I went to school for my clearance. Got the slip and everything's cleared. :) Had a short talk with Nor and Chel about the team's training and coach. About the training, I think we're going to start week before classes resume. On the other hand, I'm still wondering and bothered about the coach thing. Hindi ko pa din alam paano sasabihin kay Ian. Damn!

After clearance, bought milk tea at Simple Life with Hope (of course). Grabe namiss ko milk tea! Iba talaga! Oo na adik na talaga ako dun. Inaamin ko. Hahaha! :)) Then we went to Yellowcab, Lacson to meet the rest of the Girls plus Wes, Ashley and Duke for Anna's early birthday treat for us. Thanks Anna! And another thanks for the pasalubong from Hong Kong! :) I missed everyone. Matagal nanaman bago tayo magkakasama ulit ng kumpleto. :(

After eating, met up with Kat then went home with her dahil mag n-night swimming kami dito sa F1! :) Inaya ko din pinsan ko para naman mas madami kami. (Mas madami ng isa lang. Haha!) First night swimming ko ngayong summer nung Wednesday with them! Kahit tatlo lang kami, I had fun. May boys pa na nakasabay. Ehem, Kat. Destiny. HAHAHAHA! Anyway, thanks Kat and cous for a fun "chismisan" night! Hahaha! I SUPER MISSED NIGHT SWIMMING! Pag summer lang kasi inoopen yun. Kaya namiss ko talaga. Part 2, please! :)

And oh btw, I got my grades day before clearance c/o Aina. Lowest average grade so far but fair enough, I guess. :/

It's 12:00am! So officially, it's Anna's 19th birthday already!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNA YEUNG! :)

Currently listening to: Broken Strings - James Morrison ft. Nelly Furtado
Currently feeling: Sleepless

I Love Surprises!

After hearing a mass with my dad and my sister last night, we went home straight and I found out that they are all going out. So yes, home alone ako. Haha!

Participated Earth Hour alone but I was scared to stay inside our house without lights or anything so I decided to walk outside for an hour. Many houses participated but not all. I liked it whenever I pass by houses with candle as their light and see some people playing or hanging out in front of their houses. There were also people like me who decided to walk around the village. It's so cool. But I think it would be cooler if EVERYONE in the village participated. It was actually my first time to participate Earth Hour 'cause I thought that this was the first one. I just found out last night through Nor that it was not the first. Nung 2007 pa pala may ganyan. I'm such a loser 'cause I'm not aware of that. Haha! I must say that this year's Earth Hour campaign and advertisements were effective.

After an hour of walk, went inside the house to rest. Sakto 9:30pm na din kaya pwede na buksan yung lights. Haha! I ate dinner alone. Watched TV alone. At nag internet na lang buong magdamag. Hahaha! But I actually enjoyed being alone. Nakakamiss din minsan yung magisa ka lang tapos nasa bahay lang. Matagal tagal na din since yung last na nangyari saken yun kaya namiss ko. :)

Then the highlight of my "lonely" night..

As I was saying, I was just online and surfing the internet the whole night. At exactly 1:25am, I was surprised to see that Micah was calling me. Micah was my schoolmate back in highschool at Miriam and we live in the same village. Medyo hesitant pa ko sa pag-sagot kasi baka napindot lang or whatever. Pero hindi. Haha! She was with Boom, her boyfriend, which happens to be my schoolmate back in gradeschool at JASMS. It's been a while since we last saw each other that's why they want to drop by our house to just see me and chat for a while. So I changed my clothes (Kasi medyo nakapantulog na ko . Haha!) then went outside our house to meet them. Sakto paglabas ko andun na sila.

So we were just there in front of our house talking until 3:00am. Boom was kinda drunk. Galing pala kasi sila sa party sa poolside. Funny because I can smell the alcohol coming from Boom. Hahaha! Boom was very talkative. Super daldal niya na umabot sa point na ako na mismo nagsasabi sakanya na umalis na sila ni Micah dahil late na tapos inaantok na kami ni Micah. Hahaha! Boom is naturally talkative. Pero drunk pa siya kaya mas lumala. Hahaha! He keeps on reminiscing the gradeschool days. Hindi siya nauubusan ng sasabihin. But it's fine with me. It was fun listening and talking to him about those immature and childish days way way back in gradeschool. I actually love the fact that he can still remember a lot of things. Super vivid ng memory niya. Haha! I just really wish that they came earlier so there would be more time to spend chatting. I really appreciate what they did. I missed them both! Especially Boom, kasi nga naman mas matagal daw ang pinagsamahan namin kesa kay Micah kaya sakanya daw dapat ako maniwala. Siya ang nagsabi nun. Hahaha!

So they left around 3:00am. I went back inside our house.. switched off the laptop and went to bed. I texted both of them because I was kinda nervous about Boom driving home. Lasing kasi eh. Boom called me around 5:00am but I was already sleeping so I wasn't able to answer his call. I took it as a sign na nakauwi na siya which is right naman. :) Thanks, Lord! :)

And btw, Micah texted me a while ago and she said na nakatulog pala si Boom sa car niya bago umuwi talaga kaya pala ang late na ni Boom tumawag. Haha!

Boom and Micah, I know you won't see this blog but I still want to thank both of you for making my "lonely" Saturday a meaningful one. Haha! THANK YOU! :)


Currently listening to: Knock You Down - Keri Hilson ft. Neyo & Kanye West
Currently feeling: Unhealthy :))

Reasons for Breathing

(Sa totoo lang, hindi ko talaga alam kung pano ko sisimulan itong blog entry na ito. 30 minutes na ko nakatitig lang sa screen kasi hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula sa sobrang dami kong gusto ilagay. Hahaha! So, bahala na kung ano mauna. Haha!)

Let me start this by expressing how happy and contented I am right now. I've been contemplating about this feeling for a week already because I'm not sure if this will last or if this is real or whatever. And I realized that IT IS REAL. I don't even have to question this feeling because I have my reasons to feel this way. :)

First of all, I think the core reason why I'm feeling this way is because I am having a stronger faith and relationship with God. It is really true that if we feel lost or out of this world, the only one who can save us is God. I realized that only God can make us really feel the true happiness and inner peace that we seek.

More reasons why I'm feeling this way are because of my family, friends, and studies. :) Lately I've been enjoying spending time with my family and relatives. Habang tumatagal parang mas nagiging bonded kami at mas masaya. And I love it! :)

I'm also very very happy with my friends. Lalo na yung mga nakakasama ko lately. Alam niyo kung sino kayo. Thanks for the friendship! They're keeping me stronger and happier. THANK YOU THANK YOU! :)

And lastly, I'm really contented with my studies. It felt SOOO GOOD knowing that I passed all my subjects. Hindi niyo kasi alam kung gano ako katamd ngayong sem kaya ang sarap ng feeling na yung mga ginawa ko enough na yun para mapasa lahat at walang remedials. Pero kahit na ganun, mas masaya sana kung lahat kami sa class especially yung mga friends ko talaga sa class wala din remedials and passed lahat. Kaso lang hindi. :( The only thing that I can do right now to help is pray for them.

And oh, I'm happy to have new found friends in OT SOC. It's really flattering na isa ako sa napili maging officer. Being the auditor is a great opportunity. :) Kahit nilagay lang ako ni Erika para sa voting, I must admit na gusto ko din pala talaga. I'll do my best. :)

That's it for now! I need to dress up for mass. :)


Currently listening to: Something Special - Usher
Currently feeling: Motivated

Fresh Start

I already have an existing blogger account but everything written there was very "highschool-ish". Haha! I just want to start my blogger life again in a fresh way.

So today, I decided to create a new blogger account for my personal use. Most of the time, I don't have enough energy to write the important/special days of my life in a detailed way anymore because of many schoolwork. Sa planner ko na lang nasusulat yung mga nangyayari, at hindi detailed yun. So, this blog will be my personal diary. And as much as possible, I'll keep this blog private and exclusive for CHOSEN PEOPLE ONLY dahil dito ko talaga ilalagay lahat lahat. But in case you happen to pass by this blog intentionally or unintentionally, YOU SHOULD KNOW WHEN TO KEEP SILENT. :)

IT'S OFFICIALLY SUMMER 2009! I LOVE IT! :)

Currently listening to: Cookie Jar - Gym Class Heroes ft. The Dream
Currently feeling: Steady